I don’t know what to tell you, my friend.
Things have gotten rough, and for a little bit there I thought I might even be headed into some sort of a breakdown.
There have been a lot of pressures on me. Some I have shared. Some I haven’t.
I’ve been thinking aboout this blog. What is its purpose? Who is my audience? Why do I write it?
The answers to such questions have shifted over time, sometimes from post to post.
Sometimes I wrote with the idea I might be helping people to draw closer to God.
Sometimes I wrote to get something off my chest, sometimes to work through things I didn’t quite understand.
Sometimes I wrote from pride, wanting to impress, wanting to show off.
Sometimes I stopped myself from sharing things I thought would offend certain readers. Sometimes I wrote things that I knew would touch particular readers.
I don’t feel like sharing all that is on my mind, all that is on my heart, right now.
I know that I want to be the best at what is important.
I think there are things at risk in my life right now. My health, my family, my sanity.
So... here is this strange little post that I think may mark a shift in this blog.
I want to write about the things that I think are important, but only when I think I have the dicretionary time, and the proper inclination.
I’m no longer going to worry about trying to get two posts a week out. Instead, I am going to listen to heart, keep things in perspective.
I’m not goinng to work twice as many hours as I sleep. I’m not going to run my tank empty at work and other pursuits and give my family the dregs.
I’m not sure where this is going, but I’m not going to be overly concerned about what others think who read this blog.
About Me
- Curious Servant
- I have adopted two boys from Haiti. Both are mentally handicapped. One is is now 20, the other 18. I divorced my wife of 28 years a few years ago and have just remarried, a woman from Belize. I find beauty in many things... many, many things (nature, art, people, space...) and that helps me to survive my deep empathy for so many who suffer. I like to write, and I've written quite a bit on my blogs. I have been thinking about writing a book. Unsure if it should be about the things I have experienced, or fiction (I have an interesting plot line worked out). I'm pretty open about things. I like blended whiskey, but I never have more than two drinks... usually just one, and not often at that. I have had many adventures. Makes me a little different. (Odd?)
22 comments:
I've always thought that "weblog" means nothing more than a personal journal. We could do that at home on paper or simply in some word processing documents. so, maybe it wasn't us who led us here. And maybe since we are all so busy, and cannot simply sit and visit deeply with others, we have come here. Who knows, but right, don't worry about the 'blogging. Write when you're heart brings you here, and don't worry about it either way. The internet is its own mystery, but in blogs, something goes out, and something comes in. Usually, it's of God.
Yeah...like Lily said..
Yes, Lily said it!
God , Family , and self,should come first over everything else!
Blessings
May God strengthen and comfort you all. May He draw you so close and keep you safe through these storms. May He bless you with peace of mind and heart.
You are right, CS. I'm cutting back right now too. It is a hard thing to do, I have so much I didn't say yet.
Also I'll share with you that my blogging is a little hard on our marital happiness. My only saving grace is 'don't be quick to throw the first stone.' Thank goodness for Spider Solitaire and Bridge addictions on the other shoe.
For sure don't be too concerned about our thoughts, as was said it is a journal. Also though, it is your witness to one who lives a Christian life.
Mainly keep us bloggers--a whole bunch of us have a whole lot of problems and hang-ups, don't we--on your blogger prayer list.
You and family are on my blogger prayer list. I go through this role also quite regularly.
I'll see you next whenever it will be. Best wishes and my prayers, CS.
..
Its okay..just write when you strongly feel called to. I still write alot and yet I think I read more now and if I feel like a post, then fine, or a prayer time for someone...fine...its enjoyable most of the time and yes, I've learned from you and alot of others, that there really are some very fine souls out there. I thank you for that. :) Take care.
PS I've noted several people are feeling like you these days..you are hardly alone.
The Spirit is in the house.
becky
Blogs are great tools but poor masters! You are free and your blog is there to serve you in the way you choose.
Good. We'll still be here when you post, and I at least am not easily offended. Shakespeare's oft-quoted maxim "To thine own self be true" is terrible theology, but there is an element of truth in it. I pray you will have your tanks filled up again. God bless, my friend.
Amen and Amen....
God Bless you Will.....
Write when you can.....and find peace in His guidance and love.I shall keep you and your family in prayer.
donna
will, my love...a break is needed if you feel in your heart of hearts that one is needed. i read you through bloglines so i will know when you are back :)
you also have my email address and a commiserating heart on this end - please write if you wish, i'll be here for you.
peace, bro.
Good for you.
And it looks like we're rowing the same blogging boat.
As I read yours, I laughed because that is exactly what I wanted to say in mine.
Take care my friend.
I'll see ya when I see ya;-)
Justin
:)
this is your personal blog,
to do with it as you choose...
you shouldn't have to think about what others think or might think about your writing...
write for you : )
blessings,
coco
That's ok. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Take it easy.
A blog shouldn't become work, it's obvious that's how I think when you read mine! LOL Slow down and smell the flowers in life, relax!
Dear Curious Servant...
I haven't seen you in the usual places, so I came down to see how you are doing.
I am sorry that I have not commented as often as I should, because I am one person for sure that you have helped and I know there are many more!!
Please don't change even though you think you have no listeners because you DO!
You know what? All the postings that I have read of yours, I find that you are not trying to impress anybody with your knowledge. You are speaking about things that some would never dare to and by writing about these things, believe it or not dear brother you are helping more than you realize!
Sometimes when I come to your blog, I am so overwhelmed with the length of your posting, I find that I cannot read it and "digest"it in the little time that I have at the computer so I print it out and take it to work with me, aand THEN I cannot even comment.
I have no internet there, so what I am thinking I could do maybe is type out the comment on my laptop while it is still on my mind and then when I get home, just scan it and send you an email instead. What do you think about that Curious Servant?
I am glad that you were a "Jesus Freak" in school. We were called Bible Thumpers and little did the kids know but they were giving us the highest compliment!!
I mean if you are a Christian, it ahould surely show!
I think I told Donna this story once, about a young lad that had professed to be saved and right after this had to work in a logging camp with a bunch of rough characters. He was there for a little while and when he returned home, the preacher asked him, "Well how did it go? Did they recognize that you were a Chrsitan?"
"Oh no" the lad replied with a chuckle. "They never suspected a thing!"
Hmm..If THAT be the case, it creates a doubt if that kid was really saved to begin with, or just had some head knowledge!!
So go on speaking any way you want Curious Servant. You are one beloved and godly brother and your readers all know it whether we give you comments or not.
I for one, am very ashamed of myself.
This is going to change!!
I really miss you on Jels' site too......with Christian love, Terry
Been thinking about you and I'm so glad I dropped by and read this post.
I for one, appreciate your honesty, but more so, your integrity. The simple fact is that motivations differ between bloggers. Some blog as though it were a version of their personal, never to be read in real life, journal....others blog information, facts and figures, still others blog out of a sense of desire for community and establishing a friendship network, others are inspirational writers....etc, etc...
There's never a right way to blog and a wrong way to blog. Whatever you decide to do, whenever you decide to do it, those who enjoy reading your blog will continue to do so no matter how infrequent your posts, because your blog is uniquely enjoyable to read.
God Bless!
Thinking of you and sending prayers up for you and your precious family. Let the Lord lead you.
You aint gettin paid.
Write what you want, when you want.
God, Family and take time to let God fill up your tank - you can't run on empty.
Prayers going up for you!
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