Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Other Me

I have been maintaining, somewhat, two blogs, for some time.

This blog, Job's Tale, was about my journey of faith. I started it two weeks before my mentally handicapped son played with fire and burned down our church.

Since then the topics have been focused on my spiritual journey, my family.

About a year ago I began another blog... one I wanted a little more private. My wife had been having an affair. I wanted to make it easier for her to come back, hold her head up, face people in our church and community. So I tried to find a place where I could work through my feelings and thoughts and be a little more discreet than this blog which so many visit.

She left me for a short period, but came back.

I believe this past year I have been doing what God wanted me to do, though it was hard, and it hurt, and it was... a real mess.

Now... she has left. And I feel it is time to move on. I have no inner voice telling me I should work to help her heal, keep her in our home and family, work on our marriage.

I don't know why God had me do this past year.

I think I was supposed to do what I did this past year. I don't know why. I know God wanted me to, but now it is over. Perhaps this past year will be something she needs when she looks back at it from some future date.

It's been tough, but I think I needed to do all that. Being obedient isn't always easy or fun or what seems like the right thing or logical.

But, there it is. I went out and walked and prayed for quite a while this morning. No directions, no sense of what is next, except just doing what needs to be done. It's a time of waiting and healing and working to finish raising these boys.

I will need to explain all this to my son, Jeremiah, when he comes home from his friend's this afternoon.

Now... to the point of this post.

This blog has been with me for a long time, and I don't want to give it up. I think the title is pretentious, comparing myself to Job of the Bible. I'm just an ordinary guy. But perhaps the slight embarrassment I feel over the title of this blog will keep me humble.

I ramble. The point is... I do not feel I have to hide this other part of me. I don't know if I will post different things on each blog, or the same on both, or eventually shut one down... but, I am opening up that part of my life to those who visit here... sort of an impulse in being open and honest and transparent.

So... if you care to... you may visit my other blog.

It is called "The Journey of the Curious Servant" and the address is: ("C.S. Explores")

After I had posted a few things there I noticed the unfortunate word "sex" in that address and so it has attracted a few unwelcome visitors, and it embarrasses me a little, but embarrassment keeps us honest, right?

At any rate... if you want to know me better, you are free to read through the posts over there chronicling the past year.

I could use a little prayer for my family. My children are a little handicapped and this single parent thing is going to be tough.

Love you all.

Curious Servant

(But you can call me "Will".)


The Feathered Nest said...

Will, I'm so very sorry for the turmoil in your life ~ seems this life on earth is quite full of strife. Wishing you and your boys healing...try keeping your thoughts positive and uplifting as it will reflect in the atmosphere of your home...praying for your family, take care, Dawn

Fred said...

I'm sorry for the way things have been going, CS, I will put your on my prayer card tomorrow.

Hang in there, follow Him, and your journey will be rewarded.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry, Will. You are doing the right thing and in that, rest assured God will lead you to better things.

I will keep you in our prayers.

If you need a new blog template, just let me know.


Terry said...

Dear Curious Servant...I just read your comment on my blog and so here I am.
I am sorry that I didn't know that your wife had left you .
I know that you have tried your hardest the last year and you have shown your love to her and your kindness and your fairness and your forgiveness!
Well when she did leave you, she left the treasures behind her, those two American boys of yours!
They are your true treasure!!!Love Terry

PS I haven't seen your friend, Justin around for a while. Is everything all right with him and his family? He always had such encouraging words for you...and in turn was encouraging to others.

curious servant said...

I'm not sure where he is... and... you are right, he is very encouraging.

He often has a lot going on in his life, and I thought I'd let him be for now.

I'll send him an email in a day or so if I don't hear from him.

Terry said...

Please give him my regards..
I used to like to go and read his blog but I guess he is not there anymore..

KAN said...

My God, My God, I humbly ask you to keep your hand on Will and his two sons. We know your promise is that you hold us in the palm of your hand. I am also asking you, God to give Will a Supernatural strength, one he will feel and feel right now. One he will feel and KNOW that it has come from you. It will feel like a rod down his back, straightening it under this pressure and strenghtening his resolve to stand up and do what he knows he his to do for him and his sons.

Latstly, God I ask you to speak Peace to Will. Again, I am asking for a supernatural peace to actually land on him, where he can feel the Love of God as You put your arms around him, surrounding him with your precious peace and your much needed love.

I know, God that it wasn't only me that could hear the hurt in this man's writing, feel the drain that his on his very soul. He needs you, Lord, and I know you have, you will and will continue to supply all of the need in Will's life and the life of his family.

Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus.
I am SO out of my comfort zone. I have only "prayed" for people either at home, or in my prayer time, or else under the anointing of the Holy Ghost at church around the altar, or such. But I COULD NOT leave this post without being obedient to the Lord, and lifting you up in prayer.

I truly hope there is no one offended by my attempt to take some spritual auathority in a place when none was give to me..

Take care, my friend...

curious servant said...


Thank you so much!

KAN said...

Will, I just spent the last some time reading your "other blog, giving me just a glimpse into your life and marriage. I plan on reading it all. I will definitely get back to you then, BUT I HAD to say something here.

Being raised in an alcoholic family, I then started drinking about 13 or 14 years old. From the time I was about 17 until I was 22, I rarely had a day that I was not drunk - one of the "scary kinds" - a functional drunk. I went to college, graduated Summa Cum Laude, working the entire time, then landed a fabulous job as a Speech/Language Therapist / Kindergarten Teacher, and always drunk. It was only after life dealt me an incredible "blow" and I found myself on the very bottom of life, did I find what I needed to change. (Additionally, I have two brothers, one who literally drank himself to death at 44 years old, and other, though unbelievably successful in the financial part of life, struggles with the "living part" because of the bottle. And I have lived trying to work thru drunken sicknesses and trial sobrieties more than I want to admit with the two of the, too)

I know you have heard it ALL before, but it is TRUE. TRUE. TRUE. You can't change a drunk. You can't want them to be sober and make the best of life and the best of life changes enough. It has to come from them. It truly is that simple. Like most addictions, like most "sicknesses", the biggest problem is between the ears!

There is only one road to sobriety, and it must run from and to Jesus.

Off my soap box, for now (grin)

curious servant said...

Thank you, Kathlee.

I appreciate that.

I plan on continuing to go to Al Anon meetings so I don't fall into the trap of thinking I should have been able to "fix" her.

Good folks there too. (I make the coffee.)

Drowsey Monkey said...

So sorry to hear that you're going through this. I've also gone through a divorce and I know it's a very difficult time for everyone involved.

It sounds like you have a lot of great support, and that will be helpful for you. Writing about it also helps, as I'm sure you've found with blogging.

Take care. :)

Marvin the Martian said...

I'm sorry my prayers weren't successful for you, Will. Or perhaps they were, and it simply was a different plan than I had envisioned.

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