I haven't forgotten this blog.
I have been busy with the usual stuff... work and family... and have had some added stress in my life.
I have been focusing on the latter.
In that pursuit I have been blogging quite a bit. Almost a post a day. Those are on another blog where a few have gathered around me to pray and follow how I am processing new challenges.
But I love this little blog, Job's Tale, which chronicles my weird life, and I need to give it a little attention now and then.
Lately I have been thinking about character.
My character, God's character, the character of those in my life.
I have been trying to be true to what I know is right, but that lends itself to narcissism, the idea that I can attain anything exemplary on my own.
It isn't true.
I, like every other human who has ever lived except one, am self-centered first.
It is not in our nature to readily accept our own failings, deny our own desires, and live the perfect life, following the example of our Lord.
We are born with the intrinsic belief that we are the center of the universe, demanding to be fed, demanding to be held, demanding the world conform.
I suppose that tends to reach its peak about age two when the world starts to put its foot down and say: "Wait your turn!"
However, there is something about being intentional.
There are folks who float along, their faith casual, their actions flow along the path of least resistance. Lately I have found that nearly every decision I make comes at a price.
It gets old.
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. --Romans 5:3-5
According to this passage character develops out of perseverance. It means that holding true develops its own reward, character.
I've hit some hard spots of late.
But out of those hard spots I emerge better able to... hit further hard spots.
From that I develop hope.
That doesn't mean I will gain the rewards I want. It means that I will gain the inner space where I see possibilities of success when others may not.
That is good enough.
For without hope there isn't much point in riding this ball of dirt around and around as it dances circles about the sun for the three score and ten years of a human life.