It Isn’t Indigestion

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I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
--Philippians 1:3-6



Lately I sense something in my life. Something different. It isn’t exactly unpleasant, or unnerving.

Jeremiah is doing well. He is starting to confess small errors of judgment even though we didn’t have a clue about it. He is excited about our garden. He is joyfully watering and weeding the four rows of corn, the row of tomatoes, the five strawberry plants (Oregon grows superior strawberries!), a jalapeno pepper plant, a large variety of herbs, and the sunflowers framing two sides. He enjoys my prayer time with him each night and the devotional we always do after dinner.

Isaac is doing well. He is praying for a friend who thinks she may be pregnant, tough issues for teens to deal with. He is working very hard to get good grades, and wants to build up his muscles to compliment his new height. He loves to walk and he feels free to talk to me about many personal things. He is growing quite a bit. (The other night at dinner he said that he thought he was feeling a growth spurt right there at the table.)

Brenda is doing well. We love each other, and want to keep things open and honest between us. We have had tense discussions of late. She is frustrated over the pace of life... the trips to Jeremiah’s counseling sessions, her many weekly meetings, her cooking, and cleaning and washing, and dealing with the myriad of details born of the many hair-brained projects her husband starts.

I am doing well. Midterms have passed and so I’m caught up on grading. I am involved in quite a few projects... several professional ones, several spiritual ones, keeping a 65+ year old house livable, three simultaneous paintings, mentoring a high school student, producing a cable tv show, writing a blog... stuff like that.

But there is something else going on. I feel something... coming.

It is difficult to describe. It’s a feeling that has been growing for a little while now.

I’m not sure how to describe it.

It’s not indigestion.

The past year has been pretty rough (much smoother now). I don’t believe it will continue to be easy, things don’t work that way. I know difficulty often leads to growth, especially spiritual growth. But perhaps other things lead to growth as well. Maybe I’m feeling a growth spurt.

I am a lump of clay. A work in progress on The Potter’s wheel. I am unfinished. What an exhilarating feeling! What will I become? I feel His hand upon me, shaping me.

Do you feel it? Is there something happening spiritually in your life? I think it might always there... but sometimes it seems more present, more real.

Do you remember puberty? That time when your body was growing, changing, and there was a rushing feeling about being alive. I see that feeling reflected in the eyes of the middle schoolers I teach. Often they look confused, uncertain, wary. Other times, especially in spring, they can hardly contain themselves. They bounce off the walls. They are alive and they know it.

That feeling of change is in me today, this week. I have been doing a lot of praying, a lot of thinking. I’ve been doing some of my prayerful paintings, and reading from my Bible. And through all of it there has been a sense of expectation.

There are sometimes dry spells in our spiritual lives, times when The Potter has decided we need to sit on the shelf for a while. But there are times when we are in His hands and we know it.

Who will I be in a year’s time? I do not know. But I know that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.

I feel something coming...