Friday, May 19, 2006

It Isn’t Indigestion

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I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
--Philippians 1:3-6

Lately I sense something in my life. Something different. It isn’t exactly unpleasant, or unnerving.

Jeremiah is doing well. He is starting to confess small errors of judgment even though we didn’t have a clue about it. He is excited about our garden. He is joyfully watering and weeding the four rows of corn, the row of tomatoes, the five strawberry plants (Oregon grows superior strawberries!), a jalapeno pepper plant, a large variety of herbs, and the sunflowers framing two sides. He enjoys my prayer time with him each night and the devotional we always do after dinner.

Isaac is doing well. He is praying for a friend who thinks she may be pregnant, tough issues for teens to deal with. He is working very hard to get good grades, and wants to build up his muscles to compliment his new height. He loves to walk and he feels free to talk to me about many personal things. He is growing quite a bit. (The other night at dinner he said that he thought he was feeling a growth spurt right there at the table.)

Brenda is doing well. We love each other, and want to keep things open and honest between us. We have had tense discussions of late. She is frustrated over the pace of life... the trips to Jeremiah’s counseling sessions, her many weekly meetings, her cooking, and cleaning and washing, and dealing with the myriad of details born of the many hair-brained projects her husband starts.

I am doing well. Midterms have passed and so I’m caught up on grading. I am involved in quite a few projects... several professional ones, several spiritual ones, keeping a 65+ year old house livable, three simultaneous paintings, mentoring a high school student, producing a cable tv show, writing a blog... stuff like that.

But there is something else going on. I feel something... coming.

It is difficult to describe. It’s a feeling that has been growing for a little while now.

I’m not sure how to describe it.

It’s not indigestion.

The past year has been pretty rough (much smoother now). I don’t believe it will continue to be easy, things don’t work that way. I know difficulty often leads to growth, especially spiritual growth. But perhaps other things lead to growth as well. Maybe I’m feeling a growth spurt.

I am a lump of clay. A work in progress on The Potter’s wheel. I am unfinished. What an exhilarating feeling! What will I become? I feel His hand upon me, shaping me.

Do you feel it? Is there something happening spiritually in your life? I think it might always there... but sometimes it seems more present, more real.

Do you remember puberty? That time when your body was growing, changing, and there was a rushing feeling about being alive. I see that feeling reflected in the eyes of the middle schoolers I teach. Often they look confused, uncertain, wary. Other times, especially in spring, they can hardly contain themselves. They bounce off the walls. They are alive and they know it.

That feeling of change is in me today, this week. I have been doing a lot of praying, a lot of thinking. I’ve been doing some of my prayerful paintings, and reading from my Bible. And through all of it there has been a sense of expectation.

There are sometimes dry spells in our spiritual lives, times when The Potter has decided we need to sit on the shelf for a while. But there are times when we are in His hands and we know it.

Who will I be in a year’s time? I do not know. But I know that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.

I feel something coming...


Ame said...

I LOVE this, CS! I love this because for all the times God says to "wait," there is that time when the waiting is over and we need to actively receive whatever it is He had us waiting for!!!

Waiting is such and active discipline, isn't it ... it takes a lot of knee-strength and faith-strength and calling-on-God-strength.

You had choices along the way ... tough, tough choices. And you chose; you chose God. You chose blindly ... trusting in God when there was nothing to tangibly support such trust. And now ... NOW ... SOOO cool!!!

Glad you're keeping record of all this b/c God is going to use your story to strengthen you and many others ... as He already has!!!

jel said...

Hi CS,
thank for the post, I like what you said!

take care

jel said...

I didn't see the pictures when I was here before, you have a wonderful family

Paula said...

I feel it to brother. It's kinda an unsettling feeling. Not sure what's gonig on, almost like a weird calm before a storm. I hope not, but I know God will never leave me or fail me. I am so happy to hear that all is going well with your lovely family. Try not to work too hard!

Your Sister In Christ,

Ame said...

Love the added pics!

I thought of your comments on Brenda ... they are common to women ... men who think they're gonna find something else in greener pastures have deceived themselves.

Glad you are sticking to her and with her like super glue!!! She is SO worth it!

Merle said...

Hi C S ~~ Nice to meet you and welcome you to Herons Nest. Thanks for your comment. I like to post item that give people a laugh. Cheers, Merle.

Tamara said...

The boys are beautiful - you are so, so blessed.

~m2~ said...

what a handsome family you have, cs!!

yes, something is coming. it seems at times that there is a distant rumble of thunder, but maybe that is just a car driving in the distance and all will continue to be well?

i think we all have a tendency to look for "what's next" instead of settle in with "what's good." it's okay for things to be good, simple, normal (if you will).

it's really okay :)

(just in case, though, i will add extra prayers for you and yours....)

Anonymous said...

Really amazing! Useful information. All the best.

Mark D said...

Amen! The Bible is full of anticipation and expectation.

Love the pics!

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