Sunday, October 30, 2005

The Warrior


It’s 2:30 in the morning and I am writing this down before I forget it.

I have had another dream. My family was living along a road. We were in filthy clothes and hiding in ditches and trees. It was night and someone was coming.

I lay in the ditch below our tree, contorting my body so that I wouldn’t show among the weeds and dank water. I was clutching a bit of metal rod that had been sharpened on one end. Above me my family was hidden.

Horses cantered up, the knights astride them wore clean clothes and carried beautiful swords. They heard a noise from my family and stopped under the tree, the hoofs of their horses within reach of my hand. They were quietly discussing what to do when one of them glanced down and made out my form in the dark.

“Why look. There is one of them right there.”

I leapt up to defend my family, but they took no notice. They continued to speakly softly. They got down off their mounts and climbed the rude stairs nailed along the sloping tree trunk to where my family was hidden.

I followed. I was terrified of what they may do, and I knew I had to act swiftly before I lost all chances of protecting my family.

In the crook of a branch we had lain some boards to create a place to lie down and sleep. The leader sat down in that squalor, my children fled further up the branches.

I strode up to the warrior and jabbed the point of my bit of metal into his stomach. He looked into my eyes as I confronted him.

“You cannot come and take away from us the little we have. We don’t have much, but if you want our home for the night, you will have to bargain for it.”

He looked at me with clear eyes filled with love, compassion, and something indefinable, something deep.

“No, my friend, you do not understand. We aren’t here to take. I know you think you are doing what is best, that you are defending your family. But this is not where you belong. You and your family belong among the stars, not here in the dirt.”




I awoke.

Those who are regular readers know that I have been struggling with a few things these past few months. I have become convinced that this is more about spiritual warfare than anything else.

It isn’t a subject I enjoy. I love rational thinking. I love science nonfiction, and my views of the world are so conservative that some of my brothers in Christ have tried, gently, over the years to get me to accept a more faith-centered view of creation.

But I am becoming more and more a believer in this supernatural battle that is played out in the mundane world of a mortal life.

My children are from a very dark, very evil, place. They were born in Haiti. My eldest, J., was beaten, abused, intentionally starved, and saw death many times. I believe that he at least watched voodoo rituals, I know he saw scores of corpses during the military coup. My other son bears the scars of ritual burning designed to ward off werewolves.

So I have been reading about spiritual warfare. I am reading about demons and curses and the effects of sin. I am praying with and for my children each night, and I find the entire situation bizarre and a little frightening, but it is my duty to protect my family, and I will do whatever that requires.

So here I sit tapping at the keyboard at my desk in the middle of the night, trying to capture the feeling the dream left in me.

When I looked into those eyes filled with love and compassion and something deeper I knew that someday my family would not be living in the ditches. That we would be wearing clean clothes, and striding through the stars.

The logical part of me wants to defend my position that this is a spiritual struggle by citing all the passages of scripture that I have looked up, that evil is real, and that there really are demons in the shadows according to His word. But I’m not going to do that. Perhaps another time.

Tonight I am just going to close with this thought: I don’t belong in the filth trying to ward off the darkness with a little bit of sharpened metal. I have looked into the eyes of a friend, a brother, a comrade in a greater battle, and have learned that I can lead my family to where nothing can touch us.


32 comments:

l. said...

first timer at your blog. i like it.

curious servant said...

Thank you for commenting. My you are up early! I just posted that an hour ago.

Well, I think I'll go take the dog for a walk along the river and pray a bit before church.

God bless.

Pia said...

CS, we do have different issues in life. but i'm a firm believer that prayers can do a lot. i have read the book the bondage breaker and it opened my eyes on the spiritual battles we undergo everyday. i will be praying for you. i know God will see us through all of these.

curious servant said...

Thank you Pia. By the way. I would like to visit your site but it doesn't appear in your profile.

Kc said...

Praise God for always finding the best way to guide and direct us. CS we will pray for you and your children as you help them heal and put on their armour. I am always encouraged to know that where sin abounds, grace abounds even more. May God richly bless you all.

David said...

The more I read you, the more I come to understand your faith. Thanks for sharing this.

curious servant said...

I've just returned from a walk with Him. My dog and I walked through the dark still night along the Willamette River and I took in the stars and the mist drifting over the water.

The moon is a thin sliver, like one of those curved upholstery needles designed to poke through tough fabric.

I've watched that moon wax and wane for many years. It beats out a monthly pulse that seems to connect me to bigger things.

And tonight, as I think of the thread of events that have led me to where I am now, I see that moon and I know that it is held carefully in place by a sure hand that will pull that thread in and out of the fabric of life, and stitch me firmly to eternity.

Judas Hate said...

Yes indeed, after this ordeal my glasses didn't seem as bad. However, now that I am healing it is nice to see clearly without aid. Still wouldn't go through it again.

First note: What a shame these souless shells are so consumed by money that they stoop so low as to defile your beautiful writing sanctuary with their vile attempts to lure you to their wares.
If you enable word verification, it should block them.

Onward.

I am intrigued by this post. I too wrestle sometimes with strange symbolic dreams searching for their true meaning. I feel the same of my precious family as you. I am blessed that my children have not witnessed the horrors that yours have.

It would seem to me that you look into your own eyes as you confront the knight. You fear the inability to protect your family (as we all do I think). I think you are that loving, compassionate, strong, able knight. I think you have already lifted your family from the ditch to place them among the stars. Maybe the other knights are your army of faith.

Be well, healthy and at peace my friend.

365 said...

Thank you for visiting my blog today :) This is a very powerful post that I will have to read a couple of times to fully understand it all.

curious servant said...

Thank you. I have just returned from church and deleted the spam comments.

I think I will refrain from the word verification challenge to posting comments because I think it makes it awkward for folks to post what is on their hearts. I'll just delete them myself.

My take on the symbology of the dream I had last night is that those were angelic warriors. They made an appearance to let me know that I am not on my own and that the tools I am using to defend my family are meager compared to others that are available.

I am learning to better equip myself for battle.

As for the dirt and filth, I see that as more of the mortal experience all together and that the real place we are to dwell is above (read: Heaven).

I may change that view a little as I degest the dream further, but the feeling I had at the end of it was one of hope and love and eventual victory.

MMM said...

In the Desert of the Real, I look up and see the stars.

I watched Orion, the mighty hunter, pass over my head this weekend.

I didn't know why I was watching him march across the sky.

Now I do.

I don't know if he noticed me, but I knew he met someone.

Now I know who.
:)

Beautifully written. And bravo to you for waking up to get it down before it went away.

Judas Hate said...

I am warmed to know that!

And thank you!!

That is the greatest gift anyone could ever offer me. I am proud to accept and will indeed call upon you if needed. I am at your disposal as well my friend. I am away for a while sometimes, but will never fail to respond once I know I'm needed. Your kindness brings me much comfort and helps immensely to renew my faith in humanity.

Much love to you and your family.

Darlene said...

It sounds like you are hiding from something that you see as good but are afraid to embrace it. It's terrifying, but usually represents a struggle you have within.

Lorna said...

Thanks for stopping by over at stf yesterday :)

your dream is interesting.

My first thought (and test it) was on Ephesians 6 - which says be strong in the Lord, so you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

The bit of sharpened metal is the Word of God , Scripture - and you can depend on it.

That passage of scripture also says be alert and always keep praying.

I think you can be sure that your prayers for you children and family will be effective. They may have been exposed to the occult and evil, and faced death - but God's light pushes all that back and Jesus - intercessor extraordinnaire-is praying on their behalf to the Father.

There is a place where nothing can touch you - it's the arms of God!

be blessed :)

bornfool said...

He that is in you is stronger than he that is in the world. Keep praying. You and yours have already have a permanent place on my prayer list.

Tee said...

What an interesting and symbolic dream. I hope you're able to get the message God is trying to send to you.

jollybeggar said...

speaking of dreams, it seems that God has been choosing to speak in this way to a number of people i know.

i received a message from him last week that moved me deeply:

http://northvus.blogspot.com/2005/10/big-fish.html
***

as for spiritual warfare, i just recently viewed 'exorcism of emily rose' which i found to be powerful, provocative and ultimately God-honouring... but i'm always looking for ways that God is to be honoured.

shalom
-jb

Lillee said...

I have dreams too.
One night, I woke up and heard someone in my room, I rolled over and my husband was asleep. I called out my son's name, but, he was not in the room. I hear voices too, and I was so scared. I reached over to wake my husband, but he kept snoring, in a very deep sleep. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, I had black shadows swimming above me. I reached for my Bible on the night stand next to me and at the same time, my sleeping husband rolled over and began to pray over me in his sleep. When I asked him about it the next morning, he didn't remember doing it. This was during a time I was in a very deep depression and had considered killing myself. I believe that night I escaped aomething very dark.

G~ said...

I don't have any insight for you, CS, and that's pretty much the norm for any symbolism! I'm not much good with that kinda thing. I think the others here have some good ideas, though!

I think this dream is a part of your 'journey' and like a riser in the staircase, it is just part of getting there and you will understand it in time.

God bless!

McSwain said...

I do believe that Spiritual Warfare is very, very real. It's all around us. My best friend from childhood lived in Haiti before she was adopted. Whatever she saw there deeply affected her. You're wise to look into that for the sake of your children.

(dis)enchanted said...

what an awesome post. it seems you are on the right wavelength as far as what the dream is suggesting.. good luck, and many blessings to you as you wander along the road to healing, both for yourself and for your family. xx

Anonymous said...

CS, you have a migh-T big Heart:D
praying for ya and your family!
janice

Hope said...

What a powerful dream. Dreams have been significant in my healing. When I have one that I can clearly see what it means it seems to remind me again that God is in the midst of it all.

bjk said...

Amen and Amen....Look at it for what it is....Call it what it is and FIGHT....Praying big bold prayers for all of you....Thanks for sharing your story with us...big bold prayers...becky

Bigchumpito said...

I alway enjoy your blog. Thanks for sharing and I'll start praying for you and your family :)

Hikingalong said...

I will join you in your prayers for your children. Spiritual warfare is very real in our world. I believe there are strongholds that must be bound in your children's pasts. Get as many of your friends as possible to commit daily to pray for your children by name. The power of prayer can break Satan's grip. Plead the blood of Jesus over each of your children every night and pray a hedge of protection around them. God bless you, my friend. I will pray for you to receive wisdom from God to know how to best care for these innocent children.

curious servant said...

Thank you for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers.

I have started writing this week's post and it focusses a little closer on spiritual warfare.

Berrymom, I like your suggestion about prayer, and I think I'll make that a part of the next post.

I especially like the suggestion for being specific. So I will start that right now.

My children's names are Jeremiah and Isaac. If any of you are moved to pray for them, I will be grateful.

BHGA said...

CS
Thank you for the names of your children; I have added them to a number of other children I am presently praying for, as well as the parents. Prayer is indeed powerful...God Bless you...

Donna

Pirate said...

God Bless you bud. i hope to one day meet you and share some thoughts on life.

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